What do we mean by relationship? Relationship is how two persons or more people get connected. Is it only between couples? Not really, we have different relationships in life – working relationships with colleagues, relationships with friends, relationships with family members (parents, siblings, and others) oh yes, couple relationships. By the end of the day, we need to have a happy home. If we don’t have a comfortable home, most of the time, rest all become meaningless. It impacts on everything. We all need a place to come back after work or school and college where we feel happy and accomplished. We need people with whom we can share our thoughts, exchange ideas. Issues may come, but managing it is an art and we need to learn it. Relationship Management is essential to manage the conflicts.
Here, in this discussion, we shall focus on couple relationships today.
In couple relationships, both need to be real. Accept your partner as he/she is. Remember, every two persons are different from each other. We must accept that; we cannot get a carbon copy of myself; this means my partner will be different from me. His/her behavior, liking, and disliking will be different from mine. I need to accept him/her the way he/she is. If we try to change our partner the way we want, it often creates conflict. The worst happens when both try to change each other. If you wish to, instead of bringing change into your partner, why don’t you change yourself? You will find it is not easy. This means, when we try to change our partner, it will be equally difficult for him/her.
Gratitude is the best attitude – appreciate someone for any good thing. Appreciation is one key to sustain the relationship. Say, “Thank you.” There is no better way to maintain a smooth relationship than to show gratitude to your partner. Also, both the partners must have respect for each other. Respect is one of the critical ingredients for a successful relationship.
Communication is another crucial aspect – ideally, a couple should be the best friend of each other. This means that they should share their feeling. If I don’t like something, I must tell the same to my partner. If we expect that my partner will understand it automatically – trust me, that does not happen. My partner is a human, not God, or does not have a superpower, meaning, if I don’t express my feeling, how will he/she understand that I felt terrible because of some behavior or words? Communicate with your partner in the way he/she wants to be communicated. Don’t try to impose your style of communication with him/her. Similarly, tell your partner how you want to be communicated! Don’t expect that your partner must know that!!
Remember, we all are human; we are prone to make mistakes. There is nothing wrong if we make a mistake, but if my mistake hurts my partner or have an impact on her/him, then don’t hesitate to say “Sorry” and while saying “Sorry” please do mean it. If there is any miscommunication/argument, be the first person to say, “Sorry,” don’t bring the ego in front of you. Don’t think – “Why shall I say sorry, first? She/he also had hurt me – so the other person must say sorry to me first”. This only creates distance – does not solve the issue. What is worst is – once the gap is created, with the next occurrence, the distance will only increase, and in no time, then it will be so much that it will almost be impossible to bridge the gap! Don’t go to that extent, please.
Don’t hide things from your partner. Your partner will come to know about it, and we cannot hide the truth. It will be worst if your partner hears or come to know about the incident from someone else. For example, – you were in a relationship earlier, which did not go till marriage, and you hide that information from your current partner. Will she/he be thrilled if she/he comes to know about it from someone else or some other means? Now, you may say – I love my partner too much, and I fear that, if I disclose, about my earlier relationship – my partner will leave me. Here, I have two points to make:
- If your partner loves you – then eventually, she/he will have more respect for you if you share the truth at the beginning. Your partner, who loves you, will not leave you.
- What will happen if your partner comes to know about the relationship from someone else after some time (days/months/years)? That will be even more hurting!
- What is worst – We will be opening an avenue to be blackmailed by someone else because you hid such vital information.
So, what will be better? I am sure; you will agree that – keeping secrets is not a real good option.
Remember one more point – don’t hold your emotions or bad feeling about your partner for long. We need to remove those emotions or to feel from our minds. Many of us keep those in mind for long enough time, and what is worse is – next incident we always relate to the previous event. Generalize our partner based on this – like, “you don’t have any respect for my work, last time (which might be years ago) you had commented about my work.. and so on and on.”
So, to conclude it’s essential that we follow specific basic points so that we don’t face any issue with our relationship.
- Accept your partner as he/she is. Please don’t try to change your partner as per your liking!
- Say “Thank you” to your partner whenever he/she helps you with anything.
- When you are wrong – please come forward to accept your mistake and say, “Sorry.” Please don’t bring your ego in between and waste time on “Who will blink first” or “Who will say sorry first”.
- Maintain a friendly relationship with your partner – have constant communication with the partner. Share everything with your partner.
- Be truthful with your partner – don’t hide anything from your partner.
- Sometimes there can be a disagreement or fight between the partner, but that does not mean that we need to remember it or have that incident in mind forever and relate that incident in all future conflicts.